Last Sunday I heard an excellent sermon - it was one of a series of sermons on healthy relationships. It was Father's Day and I imagine I was not the only one of 1000+ in attendance who did not expect the focus to be about fathers who wound their children. Although the silence that quieted the auditorium communicated the audience was truly listening, it must have been the Holy Spirit that guided the message to the hearts and souls there as I heard and saw a significant number of people sniffling and wiping away silent tears. The "Daddy Hole’ is how I term what this sermon was about and there are lots of adults who have in their heart this gaping hole with fragile edges that can easily retraumatized by life.
Using Genesis 3 (the fall of Adam and Eve) as the scriptural background the preacher discussed the role sin plays in perpetuating the cycle of dysfunctional and destructive relating and how it wreaks havoc through the generations if unbroken. Ephesians 6:4 was cited because it specifically addresses how fathers should treat their children; “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” This verse the preacher said, is God’s way of telling fathers – ‘don’t make it hard for your children to understand the way I love them’. Another tragedy for some so wounded is the difficulty they have in relating to God as “Father”. To illustrate this point, the preacher told a poignant story of a young man with whom he had worked who eventually was able to forgive his father and found by addressing God using one of this other names, he was able to come to faith. Thus the cycle of multi-generational dysfunctional relationships can be broken in Christ.
I too at one point would have been sniffling and crying-listening to this sermon. My parents divorced when I was very young and my father became a rare and distant presence in my life leaving a daddy hole in my heart that was more like a black hole where anything that entered disappeared and yet still exercised great power and influence in my life. Fortunately before he died, I was able to forgive him for the hurt he never appreciated he had caused me. My own faith development was no doubt influenced by the lack of fathering as much as by the absence of any real spiritual guidance I received as a child. Even though I had no formal church or religious upbringing, God was present in my life. Like Ecclesiastes 3:11 says the human heart hears the call of eternity and for me that started about the age of 7 or 8. I recall wrestling on my own with how to address God. At first I decided to use “Lord”, and then I progressed to “Father” and eventually I gave myself permission to use “God”. I realize how silly that might sound, but in my childlike thinking it was a combination of reverence and uncertainty.
Today as a believer and follower of Christ, I feel confident in how I address God, most often it is as “Father". Maybe this comes naturally ... “Because you are his sons (& daughters), God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba Father” (Galatians 4:6).
Using Genesis 3 (the fall of Adam and Eve) as the scriptural background the preacher discussed the role sin plays in perpetuating the cycle of dysfunctional and destructive relating and how it wreaks havoc through the generations if unbroken. Ephesians 6:4 was cited because it specifically addresses how fathers should treat their children; “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” This verse the preacher said, is God’s way of telling fathers – ‘don’t make it hard for your children to understand the way I love them’. Another tragedy for some so wounded is the difficulty they have in relating to God as “Father”. To illustrate this point, the preacher told a poignant story of a young man with whom he had worked who eventually was able to forgive his father and found by addressing God using one of this other names, he was able to come to faith. Thus the cycle of multi-generational dysfunctional relationships can be broken in Christ.
I too at one point would have been sniffling and crying-listening to this sermon. My parents divorced when I was very young and my father became a rare and distant presence in my life leaving a daddy hole in my heart that was more like a black hole where anything that entered disappeared and yet still exercised great power and influence in my life. Fortunately before he died, I was able to forgive him for the hurt he never appreciated he had caused me. My own faith development was no doubt influenced by the lack of fathering as much as by the absence of any real spiritual guidance I received as a child. Even though I had no formal church or religious upbringing, God was present in my life. Like Ecclesiastes 3:11 says the human heart hears the call of eternity and for me that started about the age of 7 or 8. I recall wrestling on my own with how to address God. At first I decided to use “Lord”, and then I progressed to “Father” and eventually I gave myself permission to use “God”. I realize how silly that might sound, but in my childlike thinking it was a combination of reverence and uncertainty.
Today as a believer and follower of Christ, I feel confident in how I address God, most often it is as “Father". Maybe this comes naturally ... “Because you are his sons (& daughters), God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba Father” (Galatians 4:6).
Amen
